Friday, October 16, 2009

The Poopie List

Last night my roommate was going through some books that people had donated for our church library and found this very old typed letter called the "Poopie List." I almost wet my pants laughing so hard. I am not sure if I laughed harder because it was in a book donated to the church or if it was just the words themselves! Be warned this is a very descriptive "list" :)

The Poopie List

Ghost Poopie: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poopie: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 itmes and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.

Second Wave Poopie: It happens when you're done poopi-ing and you have pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie: The kind where you strain so much to get it out you practically have a stroke.

Richard Simmons Poopie: You poopie so much, you lose 30 pounds.

Lincoln Log Poopie: The kind of poopie that is so huge, you're afraid to flush without breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Gassy Poopie: It is so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling.

Drinker Poopie: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the treadmarks on the bottom of the toilet.

Corn Poopie: Self-explanatory!

Gee, I Wish I Could Poopie, Poopie: It's the kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Poopie: That's when it hurts so bad coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

Liquid Poopie: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid squirts out of your butt and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican Poopie: It smells so bad the room must be condemned.

Upper Class Poopie: The kind that thinks it's poopie don't smell.

Fisherman's Bobber Poopie: That's the kind where you are in a public restroom, there are two people waiting on your stall, you poopie and flush two times, but several golfball size poopies are still floating above the water line.

I hope you all got as big of a laugh out of this as I did and enjoy the weekend!


  1. oh my goodness that is HILLARIOUS jess! i seriously have tears in my eyes right now from laughing! and WOW--the church thing is cracking (no pun) me up too!

  2. haha, that is funny. i wanted to cringe at times because it is so descriptive. very good entertainment jessica!

  3. LOL... that is great... =) thanks for sharing!!